Its the little things

Lately my hair has gone insane. I’m sure its the heat and humidity and all that, it could even be that I’m probably one of the laziest people there ever was when it comes to “styling” their hair in the morning. That’s one of the reasons why its all one layer and is suppose to just lay there all straight and look somewhat “styled” without any real effort. Lately it has poofed into cottonball out of control, frizzy Roseanna Roseannadanna hair.

No amount of slathering of cheap hair product seems to tame it. This afternoon I actually pulled it back into a pony tail and threw a head band on to control it, but part of it escape and I could feel it waving at people as I talked to them. I also noticed a hypnotic gaze from the people I was talking to, and they seemed to follow my hair bobbing around with their whole head. It was very disturbing and needed some immediate action.

I went to the grocery store, because where else do people buy quality hair products but in a grocery store next to the tampons. I perused the row upon row of amazingly, brightly, and uniquely bottled “product” and ruled out any that I had tried before, which would be about 95% of the “product” on the shelves. I chose a brand and type of “product” that I’ve never had before, and which claimed to tame even the wildest hair. I’m sure the makers of this product have never seen my hair right before a thunderstorm.

The instructions say to start out with a dime-sized blop on your hand, rub your hands together and then through your hair, style as usual. Dime-sized? Like I believe that one. I’ll be going more for dollar bill-sized slathered through my hair, then style as usual, which entails turning the blow dryer on high and pointing it at my head while I shake the hair with one hand. Sometimes I’ll even attempt to brush it down, but it won’t stay there. My hair does what it wants, no matter how much torture I put it through. I once told a stylist that “my hair does what it wants” which she didn’t believe until after 15 minutes of trying to straight iron one part down and having it spring straight up again... yeah, she believed me then.

So, I’m very excited about trying out my new “product” tomorrow in the hopes that I’ll look even a little less like Bozo the clown at work, but I’m not getting my hopes up.