Friday, September 30, 2005

Mall Spammers

Every friday hubby and I go to the local mall, get a starbucks and walk around for a bit of leg stretching and window shopping. Gets us out of the house and we vent about the week's woe at work.

More and more the kiosk operators are getting quite brazen with their sales techniques. It hasn't gotten as bad as the old days where walking through the perfume department got you sprayed by 15 different people wanting to sell their nasty products, but its getting there. I feel like that AOL anti-spam commercial at times (and they probably got that idea from walking through a mall).

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" You already did, and if I wanted a hunk of fake hair I would have walked up and asked to buy one.

No, I don't want my cheap ring cleaned, if it gets dirty I'll throw it away and buy another one.

I don't want you to rip my scalp off with the octopus relaxer thing that you probably used on someone's lice ridden head.

My cuticles are just fine thanks, I don't want to slather myself in your stinky hand lotion.

I already have a cell phone, and no I don't want to upgrade and switch providers.

I don't want to take a survey and you probably don't want to hear what I have to say anyway.

Sea salt for my feet? Don't think so.

Microwave hot pack, no.

I don't have kids and I don't need a radio controlled car toy.

Got a deck, don't need new windows, don't want an enclosed porch, get out of my face.

Its now to the point where I look them in the eye with that "don't even ask" look and dare them to approach me. If they do, I yell NOOOOO!

I just want to walk through the mall, sipping my latte or iced mocha, and not be bothered... is that too much to ask?

Monday, September 19, 2005

Going to the moon?

This morning I was treated to the perky newswoman who tried her best to look all depressed and sorrowful over the fact that she was reporting that we didn't have enough money to rebuild New Orleans (I like how its now JUST New Orleans, not most of the Gulf Coast) and help all of the displaced, refugee, evacuees, whatever the hell they're calling them now.

Oh, the horror, as one senator or congressman, or whatever high paying "public servant" was bemoaning that if we wait one more year on some senior prescription program, we would use that money to rebuild.

Nice, now we're telling old people to wait on their medicines for a year. NIIIICE.

The perky newswoman was able to regain her usual "perkiness" as she reported in the next story that NASA was going to spend oodles of money to go to the moon AGAIN.

Um, excuse me. I actually had to tivo that one back up. We're just bemoaning the fact that half of the Gulf coast was washed away and now old people can't get cheap medicine, but we're going to spend money to go to the freakin moon?

We've been there already. It's a dead rock. We took some cool pics, played a little golf up there, stole some rocks. Why do we have to go back to the moon?

We've got little tonka trucks with cameras crawling all over mars (remind me to rant later about the fact that they can get those things to work on Mars and outlive their expected life span, and yet I have to get an oil change every 3,000 miles), so wouldn't "going to the moon" be a step backward? Not to mention a HUGE waste of money?

Brain is bubbling again.