Thank You Mom and Dad

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be... a year older.

My mom sent me homemade cookies, and the recipe to the homemade cookies. That’s a bit bittersweet because it sorta signals that there will be a day when she won’t be around to send me homemade cookies anymore, and she wanted to make sure that I knew how to make them when she’s gone... without actually saying that.

So that started me thinking about what I wanted for my birthday. I’ve never really been into the whole “wait until a special day to get something for yourself or someone you love” because you really never know if you or they will make it to that pre-determined time, so I just generally buy what I want when I want it and randomly send gifts to friends and family when the mood strikes me.

I’d REALLY like my birthday gift to be that the United States regains its sanity and doesn’t pass this craptastic healthcare bill, but I doubt that will happen. It will pass, people won’t get their freebies for 4 years, but the working class will pay through the nose for 4 years, everyone will be disgusted, vote people out of office, only to be replaced with equally if not more corrupted scum and our country will dive into a third world country. Whoot, I’m such a mood lifter, aren’t I?

So, on the eve of our country diving into socialism (yes, I said it, I believe it, and if you post a comment arguing against my belief, or try to convince me otherwise, I will delete your comment, unfriend you, and most likely mock you later on... cuz its my blog), the only thing I could think that I would want for my birthday is this:

Thank you mom and dad!

First of all, thank you for actually having me. Even though I was legitimate, whereas we did the math on my sister and somebody was fooling around unwed, you tricksters, I was planned and probably why I turned out so well... as opposed to my sister.

Thank you for not putting me in a gunny sack and throwing me in a lake, as you constantly threatened to do when I did stupid things.

Thank you for not selling me to the gypsies when I fessed up to masterminding how to remove the toilet paper rolls from the school bathrooms during the great junior high school toilet paper stealing gig. I would like to remind you, I just showed them how to do it and left, they’re the ones caught red handed while I had an alibi (I was at home with you), but yes, I was in cahoots and deserved the grounding.

Thank you for spanking me when I did something to deserve it. You taught me that there were serious consequences to my actions, and those consequences, while painful, could have been deadly to myself or someone else if not put in check.

Thank you for instilling respect and honor in my parents. You listened to me, you told me everything that went on with bills, jobs, what we could and couldn’t afford and why. There was nothing more that I wanted in life than to make you proud of me, and to never hear that I had disappointed you.

Thank you for giving me chores and teaching me that an honest day’s work got an honest day’s wage.

Thank you for being fiscally responsible and not going into debt for the sake of going into debt when we could make do with what we had, even though we didn’t have fancy cars, fancy clothes, or fancy other things, we had family and family was all that mattered, and that charity was for people that REALLY needed it, and handouts were demeaning and ugly.

Thank you for giving me the gene that made me want to right wrongs and help those who couldn’t help themselves.

Thank you for showing me that while we didn’t have much, others had less and those were the ones that needed a hand up once in a while.

Thank you for instilling in me the warm feeling of giving something to someone, be it a hand up, money, a gift, or a hug and not expecting a single thing in return. It truly is the giving and not receiving.

Thank you for telling me that I could do ANYTHING I wanted to do, there were no boundaries or limits, just the ones I placed on myself, which has led me to lead a wonderful life, make a LOT more money than either of you ever have, and all without any college education.

Thank you for sacrificing some of your dreams to give me a good, comfortable life.

Thank you for teaching me that if I wanted something in life, I had to earn it. While it sucked to see others driving their free new cars while I had to borrow the crappy pickup truck that stalled at every intersection, the sense of accomplishment and pride of earning everything I’ve bought with my own money was worth it. Looking back, I still miss that crappy pickup truck.

Thank you for the strange, twisted sense of humor and view of everything in my life. Its made getting through tough times easier (if not more amusing), and has helped me make friendships that have lasted.

To my dad; thank you for my cartooning gene, and your sensitive heart for animals. Thank you for naming me after your first dog. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate namesake. I miss you.

To my mom: thank you for your practicality, frugalness, and utmost devotion to those you love. Thanks for the cookies, and the recipe. When I make them, I’ll always think of you.