WTF?

I want a spice rack. JUST the freakin spice rack. I already have spices, I don’t need pre-filled spice containers, because most of the time the spices that come with the spice rack are obscure spices that NOBODY uses, and who knows how old or what origin those spices are. I don’t want to buy a spice, then have to pour it into a new container to fit in the spice rack because who can pour that crap into the tiny little opening without spilling half of it on the counter or sink or wherever, wasting most of the spices. Plus, if I buy a spice rack that comes with rat sprinkles, the stupid jar is labeled “rat sprinkles” so if I put oregano in there it the jar still says “rat sprinkles” and I’ll have to remember that “rat sprinkles” is really “oregano” and who has time to for that?

So, I need a little rack where I can put my grocery store purchased, various sized and shaped spice bottles... but do you actually think such a thing exists? Oh hell no!

Does the spice industry think that people have time to restock their spices and pour them into the tiny jars, or is this all an evil plan by the spice rack industry to drive you to purchase a new spice rack (complete with new spices) each time you run out of cinnamon?

Apparently some stores are even confident that we have all the time in the world such that if you do a search on “spice rack” in their stores, they throw up a freakin mortar and pestle that will “Maximize flavor by grinding spices and herbs with this invaluable kitchen tool.” Invaluable? Who has time to grind spices and herbs? Isn’t tossing them into whatever you are cooking enough, now you have to beat them in a bowl with a pestle or else you are denying your family the maximum flavor? Am I such a horrible person that I don’t care enough about my husband to grind spices and herbs in a bowl? I thought that’s what bottled spices were for... pre-loved spices, ground by dedicated spice workers so that I could just throw them in a pot of bubbling whatever.

So, I want a spice rack. I already have one, a nice revolving spice rack filled with spices that I’ve NEVER used not ONCE in the 10 years I’ve had it. It has a nifty hole at the top, handy for shoving random cooking utensils that don’t fit in the overflowing utensil drawer. It actually came with utensils like a worthless can opener that didn’t work for crap on day 1, a potato peeler that is useless, some measuring spoons that are long lost, and some other crap that I never used and threw away. Why the company felt compelled to build a spice rack utensil rack in one is beyond my comprehension, but whatever... its sitting there... unused.

If anyone knows where to get a spiceless rack that will fit any sized spice container, let me know.

Why Editors are important

Back in the good old days (let me hitch up my pants to chin level and go on about walking to school in the snow barefoot before I get to the point) when I aspired to be a journalist, we learned things like the W5 (who, what, where, when, why... and that pesky how), the importance of fact checking, and your best friend the editor.

Reporters were taught to be just that: someone that reported the news. There were no commentaries, or slant, no discernible bias, and stories got “aired” only after each and every fact was checked, the full story was known and all participants had been questioned. All sources were revealed and reported, blah, blah, you get the picture.

Now, the media is in such a rush to be the first, they don’t even care if they have no clue as to what went on, they’ll splash raw, live feed on the air (sometimes getting too much news, as in the case of one disgruntled person committing suicide during a particularly gruesome close up helicopter shot), and in other cases... getting EVERYTHING wrong... but they don’t care, they were first.

Case in point of why editors are essential to the life blood of serious reporting comes from the WBALTV Web site.

In case you missed it, as the point is subtle... here is the sentence in question:

“When officers asked him to put his hands up, he began fumbling near his waste.”

Um... EUUUWWW!!! Oh heck yeah, I’d shoot him too if he was fumbling near his waste, I mean come on, you know what’s next, he’s gonna start throwing his waste at them or something. Was he hiding a gun in his waste? That’s a pretty strange place for a gun and all, not to mention the fact that this man is sitting in a car near his waste, what about the upholstery?

By the way, I also invite you to watch the video, whose graphic announces “Street Explosion, 3 injured”. Poor John Sherman (Hi John... yes, I’ve met him, he’s a very good reporter) its unfortunate that his reporting is marred by morons typing up Web site transcripts and running the graphics at the news station.

A quick rant

I saw this article just now that the “Safety Council” says to ban ALL cell phone use, including cell phone hands free use. They say that talking on a cell phone is dangerous because your mind is on the conversation and not on the road.

Um... are we to then ban conversing with the passengers in your car? After all, that would mean that you are concentrating on talking to your passengers and not on the road. What about singing to the radio? What next, turning the radio station, or perhaps a total ban on radios in cars, along with navigation devices and DVD players. I think windows are distracting, that whole rolling them up and down, so we should make cars that have windows that you can’t fiddle with when you drive.

Babies are a HUGE distraction, so I think that we have to ban babies from cars PERIOD!

When will “councils” and our “representatives” realize that stupid people do stupid things and passing laws to keep stupid people from doing stupid things only allows the stupid people to live longer and breed. We need to stop saving the stupid and stop forcing the non-stupid to deal with stupid laws that the stupid are only going to ignore.

A Dose of Reality

I was reading an article on CNN about Alexandra Penney, a writer who made it big and was able to live life as she wanted to... until Bernie Madoff took everything she had.

Oh sure, I was ready to hate her. She’s done everything that I want to do: become a famous writer, make big bucks and use that money to do what she wanted, in her case being an artist. She’s got houses in nice places and clothes to die for and a social agenda that ranks right up there, its very easy to hate someone that has, and then laugh with glee when they don’t have... but actually, its not funny, nor should we hate her and post nasty comments on her blog entry about finding out that her life will never be the same again thanks to the greed of one guy.

She wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she wasn’t given the money, she MADE it on her own. As I said before, she’s someone that I would envy, but to laugh or mock her when she’s lost everything, I don’t think so. Rich people, for the most part, aren’t rich because they were handed the money, most of them actually DID something to get that money. They should be our role models and examples of what CAN be done in this wonderful country. We should aspire to be like them, to make enough money to live the lives that we want, but instead, people hate them.

Don’t you wish you were rich? Don’t you look at those who have and wish you had it too, or do you look at them and think that their gains are ill gotten, and therefore they should be hated? When does a person go from the struggling actor, writer, businessman, whatever and a person to be idolized to one that you hate and wish bad things on? What is the dollar amount? Is there a certain level to which someone goes from being the “everyman” to “the rich asshole”?

What about Oprah? She’s got so much money its not even funny, and yet because she gives her audience toys and cars, she’s ok? I’m guessing that if Oprah got taken, there would be such an outpouring of sympathy and concern, people donating their salaries and such to make sure she was taken care of... but why her and why not Alexandra Penney?

People tend to forget that the rich people hire us. They keep the economy strong by buying things and investing in things. They’re the ones we watch on the tabloids and try to emulate by buying the clothes they buy, being like them, and wishing we were like them. They’re the ones that keep the dream alive, that dream that says that someday we can have all of that. Without them, what is there to dream of? How do we hold onto our crappy daytime jobs and do what we like to do at night in the hopes that someday we will get “discovered” or create the next big thing that will help us pay the bills and maybe allow us to rub shoulders with the rich and famous. What is there if that’s gone, when all the rich people are gone?

Ms. Penney says not to feel sorry for her, but I do. Probably not for the reasons she thinks. I feel sorry that she had it all, now she doesn’t. I feel bad that she’ll have to start over again, just like me. I hope she makes it, because I think we all need someone like her to look up to, and to think “she did it, she made it, and so can I”.

I doubt that Ms. Penney will ever read this, but if she does, I hope she knows that there’s at least one person rooting for her.

Full Tilt Ramble

If you can’t buy the Shamwow in stores, then why are they selling them at Bed, Bath & Beyond?

A Snuggie is just a bathrobe turned backwards, and you don’t get ripped off by the company that sells them.

Just don’t buy any of that crap you see on tv. Eventually it gets sold in stores and you can see what crap it really is in person.

Taint Watch 2009

It was a very good day for the “taint” count. I actually lost count because I was too busy rolling on the floor trying not to pee my pants when a news person actually said (and I’m not making this up) that “The Senate is trying to take the taint from Burris”.

HOOO Boy doesn’t that conjure up a really unpleasant (yet somewhat not surprising) image in your head!

I see California has found a solution for their economic woes: give taxpayers IOUs instead of their tax refunds. Yeah, that’ll work! Frankly, if I owed the State of California something and instead sent them an IOU, I’m pretty sure they would be cool with that. I really hope that whoever gets an IOU will call California 3 times a day demanding payment, charging interest and penalties along with late fees.

Oh, do you know where your automobile manufacturer bailout money is going to? Why, its going to ensure that you can watch the season premiere of Damages, without commercial interruption, thanks to GM and Cadillac!

Oh, but don’t worry, this was a deal that the company brokered in October 2007, you see, or something like that... waaaay before this whole economy thing broke open. Yeah, they were fine in October 2007 and all that. Besides, it not like they haven’t GIVEN the show a whole slew of cadillacs to drive around in the show, so its like they bought their very own tv show to highlight their cars so you’ll want them... just like you want Glenn Close and those other once upon a time movie stars that are now stuck on the little screen.

For my last bitter thought of the night: what’s the difference between banks, insurance companies, and automaker companies that piddled away their money on lavish homes, vacations, and everything but their business and Madoff?

The answer: Madoff wasn’t sleeping with politicians.

ok, really, one very last thought: The porn industry is now asking for a bailout. Heck, why not.

Its a New Year, nothing new here

Which means filing all of last year’s crap that has collected. Sure, I could do it throughout the year and then I wouldn’t have a big stack of paper in my “out” box, but there’s one thing that I hate and that’s filing stuff. Ok, I hate cooking, laundry (specifically folding and putting clothes away), and vacuuming (still waiting for my replacement Dyson hose, by the way, not very happy about that, well, except that I can’t exactly vacuum without the hose unless I use the floor attachment, but still). All right, I don’t like to do much of anything, but filing just sucks.

To make matters worse (or at least more pathetic) is that the file cabinet is right next to my desk at chair level, so I have to (gasp) swivel in my chair and put stuff in the file cabinet. I think what stops me is that whole putting things in the right folders thing. That’s just way too much work.

So, I pondered ways to file that wouldn’t be like filing and I came up with the “accordion folder” method. Instead of files, I have an accordion folder with tabs that say “phones” and “credit cards” and “house”, general stuff. I can actually put the file on my lap and shove stuff in the general folder area. I’m pretty sure that in a month I’ll just shove a wad of paper in any ol folder area and be done with it, but for now, that’s my method.

I’ve also discovered that I’m a slave to bulk toilet paper. We were running low, and if there’s one thing you should NEVER run out of, its toilet paper. We have kleenex, so there was that buffer, but when we got down to 2 rolls, I panicked and realized that kleenex just wasn’t the same, so off to Costco I went. I could have just stopped by a normal grocery store (since I had normal non-bulk things to buy), but the mere thought of getting just one regular package of 4 wasn’t enough of a buffer for me. I could have gotten one of the bigger 8 packs, but even that seemed inadequate. If I was going to get more than that at a regular grocery store, then why not go for the 6,000 roll pack at Costco. Since I was there already, I also got dishwashing liquid and a platter of shrimp, because you always need a platter of shrimp that feeds 100.

New Year Ramble

New Year’s eve was such a blast. Fancy dinner, all dressed up, then dancing and drinking to a live band, confetti and optimistic good hopes.

Ok, who am I fooling, we stayed home because it was freezing and the wind was blowing small farm yard animals all over the state. Ok, who am I fooling again, even if it was 90 degrees and no wind, we’d probably still stay home.

I vowed to stay awake to ring in the New Year, hoping for a much better New Year, as opposed to the last fucked up New Year of last year, where my 401K is now worth the jar of coins we have upstairs, and all manner of corruption and crap made for a bad 365. I wanted to see that clock strike midnight, the ball fall and zillions of people in New York kissing and getting stuck on someone’s face because it was freaking cold out there, and the Dick Clark animatronic slurring a “Happy New Year” to one and all... except I fell asleep.

I just lay down for like 5 minutes to watch Terminator, like the original Terminator, you know, the one where Sarah Conner has the big hair and the special effects are lame. You didn’t realize just how bad the special effects were until about 50 years later, and then you watch it and go “damn, that’s lame”. Yeah, so about the time I said “damn, that’s...zzzzzzzz”

Woke up at 6:30 am when the dogs wanted breakfast. Fed them and went back to bed until 9:30, so that’s probably a whole 12 hours of sleep right there. Yeah, this year is so much different than last year already.

Ok, its different in that today I’ve been on some kind of Donna Reed productivity day thing. I have no idea what’s up with that, other to say that I managed to re-arrange all of my cabinets, put in new shelf liners, throw out a bunch of junk we never use, used and it was almost gone and for some reason we kept a mostly empty container, discovered that we have no less than 14 cans of air freshener in various and sundry foresty smells, an overabundance of steam cleaner formulas (enough to steam clean the Kennedy center), cleaned the trash can, finally put up the doors to the cupboards that I painted over a year ago and never put back up (then had to relearn to open the stupid doors to get something instead of jamming my fingers on the door), then I made dinner and baked oatmeal cookies. I’m a wild woman! Next thing you know I’ll shave my legs... nah.

After resting for a minute or two, I went into the ghastly back room and cleaned the bejezus out of there too. Hung all of the yard implements on hooks on the walls, put all of the painting supplies away (even though I haven’t finished painting the upstairs, which now comes in a charming half white half primer motif with glaring spots of missed both all over).

I (for the most part) caught up on a bunch of e-mails except for the stuff that I’m so totally avoiding because I just don’t want to deal with it), read blogs, read the news, read more e-mails, answered private Facebook e-mails, but ignored all of the “requests” because accepting a “new year’s eve” invite now seems a bit... stupid. Did some laundry, a few loads of dishes, drank two lattes and a few pots of coffee, ate the oatmeal cookies and shared some with the pups, and now I’m downstairs blaring my iPod to drown out the sound of the local fireworks display because yesterday they couldn’t have them, and if Meeshka could hear them, she’d be clawing my leg... she’s asleep... thanks to “Tainted Love” playing full blast (that is what is on right now... not over and over and over).

So, now that I probably made you feel totally inadequate for laying in bed hung over and only leaving to hurl up whatever it was you drank in mass quantities last night, I would like to point out the following link where annoying words are being banned.

The Lake Superior State University Words to be banished from the Queens English for mis-use, over-use and General Uselessness

While I agree, for the most part, with all of their selections, I feel that something else needs to be added for the safety and sanity of the world... the use of “i” before a word. Sure its a blatant pile on used by everyone to fool people into believing that their product is somehow used with an Apple product. Apple came out with the ultra cool iMac, then iPod, then, iPhone, people use iTunes, and other “i” Apple products, but soon everyone was jumping on the “i” bandwagon. Most of these gizmos were things that were meant to be used with a cool Apple item, but then it got totally out of hand. For the love of gawd I actually bought an iCrate. An iCrate? What makes it an “i” crate? Why the “i”????? WHY????

Excuse me, I have to go iPoop on my iToilet now.

The weekly general brain spew

Once again I wish that I had some kind of interface that would just transcribe all of the wonderful blog posts that I compose in my head while walking through the mall, or in the kitchen, or sitting on the toilet, or wherever I happen to be when I’m NOT sitting in front of my computer where I can actually type them instead of sitting down with nothing in my head forgetting all of those witting things that happened in my life 5 minutes ago because I have the brain of a may fly.

Was that all one sentence?

Whatever. Ok, I’ll try to recreate my day in the usually weekly brain spew of things, which won’t be nearly as funny as they appeared in my head hours ago.

I spent most of the day reading this all 188 pages of it. Before you ask, its for my work, and before you ask, yes I’m insane, and before you ask, no I don’t work for that place listed on the site, that’s just a place that I found that didn’t have the whole PDF file of pain, I was being nice and sparing you all from that horror. If you, for some odd and sadistic reason, want to read the whole thing, you can download the PDF here.

I did manage to tear myself away from this gripping document long enough to go have all you can eat mongolian BBQ with hubby for lunch, then came back and finished it, only to find out that the butler did it and didn’t provide adequate audit control.

As tomorrow is somewhat an “off” day (I still have to write up a monthly status report of what all I did this month, which consists of looking through scraps of paper and trying to decipher what all that scribbling actually means, and research more incredibly boring documentation stuff), hubby and I decided to go to the mall for a latte and walk around.

As I walked out the door, I nearly fell over the two very large boxes that had been plopped in front of it. The APC UPSs had arrived. Wow, holy crap! I only ordered the replacements from APC on Saturday when, tragically, two of our computer UPSs died an hour apart from each other. How convenient. Instead of going to the mall for new ones, hubby mentioned a trade in program that APC has, so I checked it out and found that instead of getting new batteries for these discontinued brands, I could new ones for about the price of the batteries. Cool, so I did that and forgot all about it, thinking it would take a very pissed off and herniated delivery guy a looong time to deliver them. Turns out it took less than 2 days. Impressive! So, since I bitch a lot about stuff that doesn’t work... go to the APC site and trade up your dead UPS. Doesn’t even have to be APC UPS, they’ll take anything.

Anyhoo, there was an accident on the way to the mall and traffic was backed up. I was actually relieved to hear that there was an accident because I was convinced that the 2009 Christmas shopping season had started and the crowds were backed up going to the mall. Thankfully it was just a horrible accident. There was actually ample parking and most of the mall loonies had left, which was good in that I wasn’t being stepped on from behind, but bad in that the even more desperate kiosk vendors were like pirana.

The most notable mall thing was that there was some woman walking past us. She had a really cool gray dress on (casual type) with a really cool black sweater on over it, and really cool black tights... AND BROWN BOOTS!!! I mean seriously! I’m no fashion maven (I was wearing jeans and my wooly mammoth crocs) but come on! If you have a cool outfit like that and don’t have the black boots, then bag the outfit until you get to a freakin shoe store! BROWN BOOTS??

Yep, so that was my mall excitement of the day.

Oh, and earlier I had to go pick up two Christmas cards for my in-laws. Yes, we suck and haven’t sent them anything, but we plan on it. Yes, its the 30th, but there should be SOME christmas cards just hanging out... apparently not. There also aren’t any cards that say “Happy Anniversary, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Years” because yes, we forgot their anniversary too. So, instead... I bought about 7 birthday cards that made me laugh, which I’ll send to my friend... whose name I won’t say, so we’ll just call her Icky, and her daughter Lebeebee, who has a real name, but I’ve called her Lebeebee even before she was born, so that’s her name to me. Ok, so it won’t even be their birthdays when I send them, but hey... why should you just send a birthday card on one day, when you can send them all the time and make people feel that good way that they feel when they turn another year older and that much closer to death?

The problem that I have with sending cards is:
1.) writing something humorous in them. If you just sign your name to it, why not leave it blank so they can re-use it.

2.) Finding stamps, even though I keep them in the same place (my dayplanner) but then there’s the whole “ok, what is postage nowadays” because I have stamps there of several denominations and never know if that’s the right amount, so I end up slapping 2 stamps on... just in case.

3.) Getting the signed, sealed, stamped letter into a mailbox that I check every night after work 10 steps from my front door. Its HARD!

Ok, as I really have no idea what day it is, I’ll stop with the rambling for now. When I started this, I really thought that today was Friday, but apparently not.

Deep Discounts

All day we heard on various and sundry news programs how nobody was at the malls, nobody was shopping, stores were slashing prices up to 90%. Reporters stood in virtually barren mall parking lots intoning the death of retail sales, and what great sales were going on, but nobody was there, nobody was buying.

GREAT! Sales and no people at the mall, lets go! After spending 2 days in the house first hiding from the last minutes shopping hordes, and then because nobody was open on Christmas except Starbucks (thank you Starbucks, we love you and are totally addicted to your caffeinated drinks, tell us oh great Starbucks, what do we do next? Take over the world in the name of latte? Set myself aflame, sure, just hand me another venti 3 pump Peppermint 3 pump white mocha latte please), we needed to get out, so off we drove to the nearest mall.

The first indication that the reporters were liar, liar pants on fires was the line of cars off the highway waiting to get to the mall exit ramp. Hm, this didn’t bode well. We should have just called it quits, zoomed by the mall and gone to our favorite strip mall Starbucks, but no... how bad could it be.

Really bad apparently. As we crept around the parking lot at -.01 mph, we realized that this was far worse than any holiday frenzy. Since Christmas was over, all that make believe nice through clenched teeth was now gone, laying bare the utmost in hostility and anger buried deep during the just ending holiday season. The gloves were off, no need to be nice anymore because people were in a hurry to get what they wanted or return what they didn’t, and nothing was going to stop them.

We thought we saw a car leaving, only to find that another was already in place to take its spot. As the leaving car eased out of the space, we watched with mixed terror and curiosity as a little compact car whipped past the waiting car, nearly did a two wheeled turn to avoid the leaving car, and whipped into the barely vacant space. We were trapped between the leaving and waiting car and the cars behind us with that feeling of “gosh, I wish I had my glock” because we pretty much felt that bullets would be a’ flying at any moment, especially when the leaving car passenger rolled down the window and started pointing and screaming (I actually ducked because I wasn’t sure the hand was empty) and then the waiting car’s driver got out and started screaming. The woman simply got out of her car and walked away. What kind of person does that? What concept do they have in their head that allows them to do something so callous, dastardly and downright WRONG and simply walk away? We finally squeezed through the hatred and drove away and I really do hope that the waiting driver let all of the air out of that bitch’s tires.

After circling the entire mall we happened upon a nice fellow that was leaving and actually pointed to where he parked to let us know. He must have been a seasoned veteran because he backed up in such a way as to block anyone coming from the other way and allowed us to pull in. So, that was only 20 minutes of trying to find a parking spot.

We went inside and immediately got in line at the Starbucks (because there was no way I could face the onslaught of sadistic, uncaring humanity without a latte), then ventured around looking for all of those wonderful bargains the media shills had screeched about. Yeah, nothing. At least nothing that wasn’t already on sale, and the “bargain” junk was just that, junk. Crap you wouldn’t buy ever, unless it was 2 for a dollar, which is was. Its as though stores actually thought that if people were forced to go a day without being able to shop, they would rush in and buy 2 goofy cat book marks for a dollar, when normally they wouldn’t.

All of the cool stuff was the same outlandish price as before, nothing new. Either the economy isn’t as bad as everyone says, or people are just loading up their credit cards with whatever they can shove in a cart because tomorrow they may lose their jobs and default on their credit cards and mortgages, but by gawd they can play Xbox until the authorities come and repossess everything they “own”.

We made our way through a majority of the mall, only because it took us so long to park that DAMMIT we were going to get our time worth out of it. Finally when I was about to elbow a small, screaming child being drug out of a store by her mother or at the very least yell “SPANK HER, NOBODY WILL SAY A WORD!” we decided to leave. Yeah, don’t get me started on that, because it was the same wreck mentality driving out of the mall.

We stopped at the usual Starbucks on the way home and got another latte to calm our nerves. Ahhh.

The Most Depressing Day of Television

Its Christmas, so you’d expect that the networks would just be dripping with all of those nostalgic christmas shows, perhaps a Jesus movie or 40, and of course the marathon showings of “Its A Wonderful Night” and “A Christmas Story”.

Ok, those are on there, on the “regular” channels, but the movie channels, good lord, what were they thinking? Nothing but doom and gloom, and sadness. Guess they’re preparing us for the New Year, but still, come on, how about a little movie magic to make us forget the foreclosures, bailouts, and general ick of the world?

Nope, what we get is stuff like “What Dreams May Come”. I first saw this film a few years back, shortly after my father died. Hubby was off on some business trip and I got sucked into the movie like a car in a Bethesda pipe break. I spent the entire movie sobbing and didn’t stop until the end of the week practically.

I usually don’t cry in movies. I don’t count wailing and weeping during the Jar Jar Binks parts of that horrible first (or 4th or whatever it was) Star Wars, I mean movies that totally just make you curl into a little ball and cry like a 6 year old. Friends would tell me “oh, I cried during this movie”, and I’d watch it and feel like a heartless bastard because it didn’t bother me.

From Amazon.com, here is a list of “sad” movies that I’ve seen:

Philadelphia - yeah, sad, but eh.

Saving Private Ryan - Frankly, I was so sick of the whole thing by the end I was hoping they didn’t save him, especially since he made them all stay and got most of them killed in the process.

Beaches - Sad, but when they start playing “Wind Beneath My Wings”, that pretty much killed the sadness for me. I love the song, but good gawd, wasn’t that a bit too much?

Forrest Gump - What’s sad about that?

Titanic - HURL! I mean really! There was plenty of room on that door for Leonardo and with all that extra fat, she could have tread some water and gave him a break.

Castaway - I admit that I did get a little misty when he lost Wilson

Schindler’s List - Ok, I admit it, bawled like a little girl at the end. I knew I was in trouble when my husband (who saw it before I did) said HE cried at the end.

Glory - Sad, but no tears

The Passion of the Christ - um... euw

Ghost - I got a bit misty at the ending scene, but then was horribly grossed out thinking “Wait a minute, that’s Demi Moore kissing Whoopi Goldberg EWWWWW!”

Awakenings - Sad, but uplifting in a strange way, I do love this movie, but no tears.

Simon Birch - Never saw it because I read the book “A Prayer for Owen Meany” and figured they butchered the book. The book did leave me sad.

My Girl - Actually laughed when Macaulay Culkin’s character died (ok, I said I was a heartless bastard)

So there, that pretty much proves that it takes a lot (or at least a believable plot and good story with endearing characters that you grow to care about throughout the film) for me to even begin shedding a tear. Not that “What Dreams May Come” had all of that. I typically despise any Robin Williams flicks (ok, except Awakenings, and this one) but it took me a while to get over waiting for him to do some schtick in this film, and frankly he was a right bastard of a father and all, but I think that’s what made it better. His character expected something different from his kids than what they wanted, and I expected Williams to be a clown, but somewhere in the movie I actually forgot I was watching Robin Williams. I also forgot that I was watching Cuba Gooding Jr. and wasn’t expecting his character to scream “Show me the money”, so that in itself is movie magic.

Yes, I know that the film isn’t true to the book, but it still makes me cry.

So, before I end the “movies that made me cry” post, I just want to throw out this one movie title that I’m sure nobody has seen, I’m certainly not recommending it (because it pretty much scarred me and my hubby for life) and for the love of GAWD don’t watch it if you are even a tad bit depressed or have easy access to weapons, knives, or even a pencil.

That movie: ‘night, Mother.

Hubby (before we got married) and I just happened to watch it one night, didn’t know what it was, started watching and couldn’t leave. It was like being glued to the chair, car wreck, but worse. Its one of those movies where if you felt fantastic, on top of the world, life is good... when its over you want to crawl in a hole and cover the hole and weep. Its not one of those tear jerker films, its more of a WTF??? films as the credits are rolling by. The kind of film that makes you want to kick a kitten, or just walk out into the night and live under a bridge. This movie will literally suck the life blood out of you.

Oh yeah, now you just have to see it, don’t you... I warned you.

Holiday Greetings

Since I don't "do" Christmas (by the way, happy winter solstice everyone!), this is the closest thing to a holiday greeting card that I could muster:
So there you have it.

Um

I was intrigued by the following story, which is titled:

Human-sized Mystery Heart Found at Michigan Car Wash

Ok, that’s a good story. Random heart found at car wash, police trying to figure out who or what it belongs to. Great story, very mysterious... but the best part is this quote by the owner of the car wash:

“The owner told police that animal parts had been left before at the car wash, but never a heart.”

This is where the “um” factor comes in... why does the story end there? Much like the tennis shoe wearing severed feet mystery, this story just begs for more information! Really? Is it common that animal parts are left at car washes? Does this happen all over the U.S. or is it just something unique to this car wash? Do people go get their cars washed and drop off a deer leg or spleen they had sitting around in the back seat?

Time for a good car washing, oh, and when you vacuum the trunk, can you toss that old bear head, here’s an extra 5 for ya.

Is it so common that its like “oh, that’s weird, we’ve NEVER had a heart before!” A heart is the unique aspect to this story? If it had been something like a horse torso, that’s not news?