My Style

I've always been in awe of people who walk around looking so "put together".  Whole ensembles that look as though they were matched perfectly in the store, purchased as a group and worn gracefully out into the public.

Then there's me.  I go to a clothing store (usually Kohls) and wander the aisle looking for these adult Garanimal ensembles to no avail.  I'm forced to actually pick a shirt that goes with pants without any sort of assistance and frankly I just don't have the gene for that. 

Same goes with groceries.  I can't simply walk through the aisle and pick out the ingredients for a fabulous meal, even if I food plan with menus, there's something inside of me that just can't get it right.

Invariably I just grab tasty looking things, get home and have no idea what to make with the mish mash of ingredients.

So goes with clothes.  Cute top, pants that fit (and have pockets), get them home and I have no pants to match the shirt, no shirt to match the pants, and don't even get me started on matching shoes or socks.  In the store, I've attempted to find a shirt and pants that match, but thanks to the deceptive store lighting will get them home and discover that it really doesn't "GO" together.

It is my curse, and while discussing this at work with a friend who ALWAYS looks put together and matching I determined that my look is "Urban Bag Lady".

I seriously look as though I just throw on the things I find in a dumpster that look fine individually, but are nothing short of a mess when put together.

This weekend I dragged hubby to Kohls in search of button down shirts.  My goal was to get 5 button down shirts that "go" with black, brown, and blue.  I will then wear these shirts to work with various pants and frankly I go to work to work, not a fashion show or to impress people, but at least I would look semi "put together". 

These button down shirts must be:

• Long enough.  Most shirts reveal too much muffin flab when you raise your arms.
• Sleeves.  I don't want long sleeves because  have long arms and they never make sleeves long enough for me, so I prefer 3/4 sleeves.  No sleeves is a no starter because old lady arm flab is occurring.
• Normal colors.  I have no idea what the hell color pallet is going on lately but NO.
• No ridiculous patterns.  Once again, not sure what insane clown posse is designing women's clothing but they need to stop taking so much LSD.
• Not tailored.  Once again, not sure who is designing these things but they always put the boob part too high, the waist part too thin so it looks like you've got wings over the muffin top flab.
• No glitter crap on them.  Who thought this was a good idea?  They do realize that you throw that into the wash with other things, and the next thing you know you have glitter underwear.

We go into Kohls and I gravitate toward the Sonoma stuff because they have normal styles in non-scratchy fabrics in normal colors.  I peruse the sections and on the wall I spy perfection.  Normal colors, button down, long, 3/4 sleeve... angels sing from on high.

I hunt down the hanger hook to reach the ones hanging near the ceiling and find some larges (I wear a medium, but we all know everything shrinks) and got a blue, grey striped, a lavender, a white, a blue striped with little red dots and giggle all the way to the cashier.

I now have a whole no brainer work week of ensembles and if I feel like it, I can always throw in shirt or two of my existing shirts to mix it up a bit.