Confessions of a bag stalker

I'm a bagaholic. I admit it, really I do. I know I have a problem, but that problem isn't me, its the fact that bags look really great on ebags.com dummies, then I get them home and find out that they were either horribly misrepresented or the dummies are gargantuan, or I'm incredibly tiny compared to most people.

I don't like purses, never have. I think this harkens back to the bad old days of jr high school. Back then young girls only started carrying purses because they got their periods. They had to, as back then (the dark ages) we didn't have tiny little tampons that fit in your front pocket, or sanitary napkins that had their own adhesive, oh no, we only had the humungous hammock sized sanitary napkins that required a belt, so not only did you have to carry around this huge pad thing, but the stupid belt. So, that meant carrying a purse, and the first day you walked into school carrying a purse, you were teased unmercifully because everyone knew you had your period. I guess that's why I don't like purses.

Ok, that and I have no shoulders. I have absolutely no shoulders, therefore all of the stylish shoulder bags most people carry simply will not stay on my shoulder. I am forever hiking that stupid thing back up on my shoulder, or bashing into things with it, like the latte I knocked over with a stylish shoulder bag that made me give up stylish shoulder bags completely. Perfectly good latte wasted on fashion, screw that.

I prefer messenger bags because I can heave them over my head and have it hang down and not have to deal with it until I need something. Then, when I need my wallet, or whatever else I cram in there, I just reach a hand in. No fuss, no muss, it just hangs there. I've tried many messenger bags and I keep resorting to one that I got on cafe press back when they had this one black metro bag and that gawd-awful humungous yellow monstrosity. I like the black bag, it has a shoulder pad on it so it doesn't fall off my other weenie shoulder when I haul it around. Not very stylish, but certainly functional.

I'm always on the lookout for new bags though. I thought a back pack would be the coolest. Yeah, not so much. Its great, out of the way, and you forget you even have it on... until you go pay for something and then its impossible to easily get to your wallet, you're swinging it around, knocking over stuff, and most counters at stores have so much crap piled up trying to entice you to buy something that there's no room to sit the thing down and dig to the bottom of the stupid thing and get your money out.

Ok, fine, backpacks suck, but what about a sling? I've seen some pretty cool, small ones that I liked, but tonight... ooooh tonight I saw the perfect one on someone at Borders. Yep, there I was tonight, stalking some poor woman at Borders who had on a really cool sling. It looked as though it even had a pouch on the strap that was in the front that would fit my iPhone. It was simple, had two zips in the back, and it was stylish and chic and really cool.

I spent a good 10 minutes following this poor woman around trying to act as though I wasn't trying to follow this poor woman around so I could figure out what kind of bag it was. I saw the little red cross thing that meant it was a swiss army thing. OOOH, then she turned around rather abruptly (I totally expected her to confront me and ask what my problem was) and headed for the sale section of the book bin. I saw the front that had the name: Victorinox!

Sweet, so for those of you who don't think an iPhone is cool, let me tell you, I was able to type that into my notes, then go online to ebags and yes, there it was. Ok, they didn't have the cool green color that she had, but they had a cool blue one. I waited until I got home before I ordered, I'm not THAT obsessive. So here it is:
except in blue. I should have spent the 10 bucks more and got quicker shipping as my new cool bag isn't going to arrive until next week. I shall pine every day until it is mine and my life will be great and easy and fun and stylish and... I'll probably hate it for some reason, like I do all bags I buy and yet can't bring myself to return.

I am a bagaholic.