Phlegm and the New iPhone

There's a subject line you probably won't see anywhere else.

This morning I had every intention of going into work. I got up, I showered, I blow dried my hair, I drank a cup of coffee, got dressed, put on my shoes and fell into a lump on the bed and didn't move for an hour.

Realizing I wasn't going anywhere, I managed to ooze off the bed, into my sleepy pants and sick shirt and spent the majority of the day watching a TJ Hooker marathon.

Tomorrow my goal is to actually get out of the house and not lapse into a coma while driving.

Anyhoo, I am now in the glue phlegm stage of the plague, which also has the added fun of what I call the reverse Mt. Vesuvius. Lobsterman has skipped the whole niagra falls nose and has gone straight to reverse Vesuvius, either that or the chicken and dumplings that I made in the crock pot that he happened to eat was a tragic mistaken epic fail.

Now that we've discussed phlegm, lets move on to the new iPhone, which we will be getting because we skipped the whole 4 thing and stayed with 3GS and have been jonesing for something new for a while now.

Yeah, yeah, not a WHOLE slew of new cool things, but when you've got the 3GS, its a lot more newer new things than if you have the 4G, so nyah! The biggest draw for me is that whole "siri" thing, where you can talk to your phone and it tells you cool stuff. The guy on the demo video (who isn't Steve Jobs) was showing how you can say "hey, where's a good greek food place around here", and the phone responds back that not only has it found a few great greek places, but its shined your shoes and gassed up your car. I like that!

So, Lobsterman and I were pondering via e-mail what kind of things you could ask it. I immediately came up with:

"Hey phone, where can I score some crack?"

Lobsterman immediately came up with the siri response of:

"I see you are near baltimore, and are looking for illegal substances. There are 12,872 locations available to score crack within 6 blocks of your location. I have sorted the top 200 by quality and price ..."

I really hope the phone does say that.

I also want to ask it:

"Where is a good place to hide a dead body?"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...?"

"Where is Jimmy Hoffa?"

"Why does a watched pot never boil?"

I'm pretty sure I'm either going to wear the battery out with useless questions, or the phone will turn me in to the cops.



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