One of "those" days

Before I go throw myself in bed and hope the Mayans were a few years off on the prediction for the end of the world and actually it will happen tomorrow so I don’t have to go to work (yes, I would rather that the whole planet die than go to work... seriously, don’t you?) let me tell you about my day.

Some of you will say “oh geez, really, that’s nothing, let me tell you about MY day” and frankly, just stop right there, I don’t want to hear it. This isn’t a contest, this is all about ME, its MY blog and dammit I had the worst day, there, blue ribbon awarded, contest over.

We start off with an idiot on the road who decided to pace me as I tried to gain enough speed to merge into the treacherous Maryland highway traffic. I nearly sideswiped said idiot because he was right in my blind spot. I slowed, so did he, I sped, so did he. Luckily the mighty 4 cylinder RAV4 was more powerful than his hunk of junk yard waste hauling truck and I outran him before I ran out of merge area... and gave him the finger. If the driver is reading this... I hope you die.

Got into the office and dragged my cup to the Flavia machine and had to wait for three other people to get their coffee before I plunked my foil packet of House Blend in the machine. It made a strange noise, puked out water all over the counter, clunked a few times then told me to call for help as it was mortally wounded. I ignored its pleas and walked over to the other kitchen place ALL the way around the stupid building and got my coffee. Luckily someone was able to fix the issue by the time I was ready for cup #2, but good gah.

When I finally did sit down I see in my e-mail that someone wants me to go to their place for a meeting in an hour. Are you freaking kidding me? I JUST sat down! I respond with a counter-office of after lunch and luckily this appeased them.

Fast forward to after lunch when I’m driving to the place to have the meeting while happily sipping my iced venti 2 pump mocha when I get a funny feeling. Funny as in cold where its not suppose to be and yes, there is the icing on the cake of my day (or so I thought) I am dribbling iced mocha all over the crotch of my tan pants. Lovely, now I look like a projectile pooped my pants or have some sort of horrendously disgusting urinary issue ( and before you laugh, there was a medical case where some guy had colostomy or something and when they hooked the plumbing back up apparently the fudge factory was connected to the lemonade factory, etc. and I’m sure its true because I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend’s aunt’s sister by marriage via e-mail).

Ok, so luckily I have a jacket in the RAV and I stylishly tie it around my waist with one arm strategically falling over the soiled area, and I totally didn’t look like a dork with poop looking stains walking into the building, nor walking around inside either.

It was at this point that I decided that the day was shot and I should just go home, so I did. Just no reason to hang around while a bird poops on my head or something worse, I’ll just go home and at least have a change of clothes.

Get home and decide to spot clean some... spots. What with two dogs with stomach issues, things were a bit out of control on the carpet, so I steam cleaned some of the more interesting areas, and then went to feed the dogs... and somehow managed to drop Loki’s full food bowl upside down on the kitchen floor. Poor pup didn’t know what to think, but helped me clean up the mess and I got him a fresh bowl of food.

I don’t even want to go into the torrential downpours, the fact that Meeshka slid in mud and dislodged one of the vital jury rigged with duct tape downspout things causing a bit of drainage problems in our back porch thing, because after the dog bowl incident, everything is pretty much a denial situation.

I just checked the weather for tonight and see that we’re suppose to get thunderstorms around 2 am, which means I will be clawed awake by a frantic, panting Meeshka and have to take refuge with her in the guest room... which is pretty much the same as our room, but apparently different in some way that calms her, but I’m stuck sleeping on a non-sleep number bed and will wake up paralyzed. So I guess tomorrow will suck too. Whoot.